By Shelby Forsythia
October 2nd, 2025
If you’re navigating grief and decision making, especially in the early aftermath of loss, this guide —”How to Make a Big Decision While Grieving”— is for you…
Societal convention says, ‘Don’t make any major decisions within the first year of a loss,’ but in my humble opinion, that’s hogwash. As much as we’d like to, we can’t opt out of living because someone we love has died; sometimes life-changing decisions must be made immediately following a loss. If you have to make a big decision in the aftermath of loss, gather as much information as you can, call on friends and trusted advisers to help, and be sure you are as informed and prepared as you can possibly be.
Shelby Forsythia, Founder, Life After Loss Academy
At first glance, the “No big decisions” rule might seem like wise, cautious advice. After all, the early weeks and months of grief can turn your brain to mush. It can scramble your sense of identity, safety, and direction. You might not trust yourself to choose what you’ll have for dinner—let alone choose whether or not to sell your childhood home, quit your job, end a relationship, or move across the country.
Basically, the “No big decisions” rule is not practical. Yes, your grief may slow you down. Yes, your emotions may be louder than your logic. But the truth is: life can’t always wait for the haze of grief to clear.
Loss events—such as the death of a loved one, a divorce, or a major diagnosis—are often the beginning of what I call “decision avalanches.” Lots of decisions, small and large, must be made in the aftermath of a loss event, whether those decisions are about your relationships, your home, your work, your finances, or your energetic bandwidth. And sadly, many of those decisions can’t be postponed. There are regularly instances where an option must be chosen; something must be done… now.
It’s common to feel impulsive, scattered, avoidant, or mentally blocked when you’re grieving.
You might have trouble weighing consequences or imagining different outcomes of your decisions. But that doesn’t mean you’re incapable of making wise, grounded choices. It just means you might need more support than usual. More tools. More information. And perhaps most importantly, more self-compassion to do the best you can with the tools and energy you have in this particular moment of your life.
Whether you’re deciding to sell a house, change careers, move to a new city, or redefine a relationship, here are some gentle, grounded ways to approach grief and decision making— especially when your brain feels broken and your heart feels heavy.
