Choosing MAID: How Do You Tell Your Loved Ones?

Dying with Dignity Canada
By Amanda Le Rougetel
August 15th, 2025

Four points to keep in mind when telling others you are choosing MAID

My mother was very clear about choosing a medically assisted death (MAID). She had long supported the principle, so when, at age ninety-five-and-a-half, her physical body made daily living more painful than possible, she chose to access MAID herself.

That was the easy part: the application was submitted, the process got underway, and the decisions followed as the assessment unfolded. What was more difficult for Mum was telling her friends.  

“How do I tell my friends I am choosing MAID?” she asked me one day during the final weeks of her life.  

I suggested that I could draft an email on her behalf and send it to everyone she wanted to communicate with. She liked that idea, so, once she approved the text, I sent it to the list of names she generated.  

1. Don’t do it alone
   It is less important that the message is sent by the person choosing MAID, than that the important people know about the decision.
2. Set the stage
   This approach is akin to ‘buffering bad news’— It is easier for the recipient to accept bad (or sad) news when they have been forewarned, to a certain extent, that such news is coming.
3. Don’t sugarcoat the core message
   Everyone benefits from such clarity— in the moment and over the long term.  
4. Don’t leave it too late
   Leave no-one out who should be part of the final goodbyes. When death is approaching, it is important to say what needs saying.  

I am sad my mother is no longer alive, but I have no regrets. I held her hand as she died; she was not alone…