Tseng Law Firm
January 4th, 2023
It is excruciating to imagine anything traumatic happening to parents with minor children in their care – most especially their death. So understandably, parents tend to behave like ostriches – proverbial heads in the sand – avoiding the most sensitive and crucial questions around choosing a guardian for a minor child or children should they die or be rendered unable to parent their children.
There are two things to remember about this challenging subject:
- First: Choosing guardians is not just about death or dying; it’s also an essential consideration if you are incapacitated in any way (car accident, coma, sudden illness, long-term hospitalization or treatment, etc.).
- Second: If you don’t choose a guardian for your minor or a special needs child, the state will. They may not select the same person or couple you would.
While guardian selection may be inherent in a particular religious or spiritual tradition, such as the “God Parents” selection in the Judeo-Christian tradition, they don’t necessarily hold up in court. And, for many couples, the selection of God Parents may have more to do with honor or “in name only” sentiment rather than the actual expression of “we want you to care for and raise our child(ren) if we can’t.”
That’s where estate planning and choosing guardians for a minor child come into play. Here are nine things to do – and not do – when selecting guardians for a minor child or children.
You may find you and your partner are not in agreement about who gets the children if you die or are incapacitated. If you truly cannot make a decision, we recommend finding a compromise, including things like:
Tseng Law, Alameda, California
- Listing who you don’t want to raise your children (see next) so those sentiments are also honored.
- Letting one of your choices act as physical guardians while the other oversees the financial responsibility.
- Creating specific documents about regular visitation rights, holiday sharing, vacation opportunities, etc.
